Sex, Lies, and the Autobot Leader
(or The Crush)
by Phantom
Author's note: BEWARE: this fic is extremely rated, full of vulgar language as well as explicit sexual description and innuendo.
Chapter Eighteen
rating: non-sexual
Crystal leaned against the railing weakly, feeling the slow trickle of her life-fluids running down her side. The sensation, albeit disturbing, was little more than a tickle at the back of her CPU. Right now, her slight injuries were the least of her concerns.
"How beautiful it all looks!" she marveled, staring out at the starlit sky far above the slumbering city of Iacon. Part of her relished the peace, while another part of her resented it, for she could never be a part of it. It was at times like this that she wondered about the existence of Primus. She wanted so desperately to believe in a power greater than herself, that there was a force of pure benevolence somewhere in the universe. If such a force existed, it would make her suffering worthwhile. And yet, if Primus did exist, why would he allow her to live in such misery? It was a conundrum that never failed to give her a headache. She had stopped praying to Primus long ago. If he'd heard her prayers, he'd never answered them.
'Well, I guess I'll find out for sure if he exists or not,' she thought, caressing her chest. Buried inside, as with every Transformer, was the spark of energy that granted her life. Though, during her darkest days, she wondered if it was all some kind of twisted joke that allowed her continued existence. At long last, it would all come to an end. All of her suffering, the feeling of being caught between two worlds, never able to reconcile her lifestyle with those of her fellow femmes -- she was going to stop it. Finally, with this one final act, she could end this farce and stop living on other people's terms. Whether she would go to Primus, Unicron, or simply cease to exist, she did not know, and truly did not care. As long as it wasn't here.
Never taking her eyes off the brilliant star-studded sky, her hands found the hairline welding lines of her torso armor and dug in, pulling violently until the metal tore off with a jerk, flying off to land a short distance away. The trickle of fuel quickly became a small river, but it went unheeded as Crystal smiled up at the unheeding sky. Liberation was so close....
She looked down at last, ignoring the mangled sides of her torso as her gaze focused on the softly glowing white sphere, surrounded by a gray armor case, the front of the case protected by a translucent but very strong bubble. It glowed a bit brighter as she looked upon it, as if recognizing that she was its owner. In spite of herself, Crystal's soul warmed a bit as she studied it. 'What a miracle, that something so fragile could give us life. It's really quite beautiful. I really don't deserve it.' At that thought, a lifetime's worth of emotional pain swamped her, and her vision clouded under a haze of cleansing fluid.
She wiped away the tears angrily. 'No, I must be strong!' she told herself. 'All of that will be over soon, and I will be at peace.' The idea reassured her, and she felt an eerie calm steal over her soul. She had made the decision, and nothing could hold her back now. Her life, at long, long last, was her own, to do with as she saw fit. And with this last act, she would free herself from this world that had tormented her for so long.
She slipped one hand into her chest cavity, avoiding the jagged edges left from where her armor had been torn away. Her fingers closed over her spark, almost protectively, and then, with a sudden wrench, crushed the glowing sphere in her grasp. Crystal gasped sharply, in pain and in a perverse happiness, as she felt an electric jolt pass through her body. The fuel cables that ran through her vital systems burst open under the stress, staining the ground below her with her dark, rich lifeblood. She swooned and fell backwards, seemingly in slow-motion, the loss of energy making her very lightheaded. She turned her head to the side, looking contentedly at the inky-black sky. Suddenly she went numb all over, the pain fading to a faint buzz at the back of her mind. 'Soon I will be one with the stars,' she thought, and with that, her vision cut out, filled with static and large black splotches. With a huge sense of relief and liberation, she gave herself up and let the darkness claim her.
end of Chapter Eighteen
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